Okay, the MRE post might still come today, but if not, I'll post it tomorrow, promise.
I have to talk about these strange things on my back patio.
They appear to be dismembered grasshopper legs. I first noticed then whilst cleaning the grill (we're having burgers and fries tonight, yay!). My best guess is that we have some sadistic birds or something.
I checked this phenomenon out on Google... NOTHING. It seems that no one in the history of the internet has ever found miscellaneous grasshopper bits on their patio and wondered about it. Thanks everyone for not having inquisitive minds, because now I probably won't sleep tonight because I'll be too busy thinking about grasshopper genocide.